The Self Help Industry Generates Over $10 Billion in Sales Annually and there’s no doubt that it gives people better confidence about themselves, their families, their jobs, and even the state of the world we live in.
But there’s also a dark side to it and it can be extremely limiting for people, which is not openly shared.
Here are 7 popular self help strategies that are widely marketed that could be limiting you and what to do instead!
1. Finding/Following Your Life Purpose
It’s great to have purpose. But sometimes this can make people judge themselves if they are not finding it or living it in every single moment.
When you have a reason and justification (or purpose) for doing something, it can limit what else is possible, how it actually gets created, and keep you judging yourself for not living or carrying out that purpose.
2. Goal Setting
There’s no doubt that many people set and reach goals. It is curious though why others don’t. I’ve been studying and working with linguistics, semantics, and the etymology of words for over 20 years and have seen how the words that we use are a vital part of creating the results that we desire since they are one of the most used carriers of energy.
When looking at the energy of words, use a free Online Etymology Dictionary - http://www.etymonline.com - to see the original meanings.
Here is the result from the word “goal”:
1530s, "end point of a race," of uncertain origin. It appears once before this (as gol), in a poem from early 14c. and with an apparent sense of "boundary, limit." Perhaps from Old English *gal "obstacle, barrier," a word implied by gælan "to hinder" and also found in compounds (singal, widgal).
Now I’m not sure about you, but I am not about to be putting any of my energy into ‘end points, boundaries, limits, obstacles, and barriers’!
Here’s what I would rather do - set TARGETS!
There are three main reasons I prefer setting targets:
- 1. You still get points even if you miss the bullseye!
- 2. You get instant feedback about where to aim next!
- 3. You can have as many as you desire and they can be as big or small as you’d like
With visualization we’re taught to involve all the senses, make it specific as possible and keep focusing on it. In short, the issue with this is that when you decide that something has to show up a particular way, you cut off all your perceiving and receiving of anything else greater showing up!
4. Saying Affirmations
Affirmations are another strategy that have become wildly popular and they are often linked to the others. One of the ways they can be limiting is that they get you to buy the lie that if you repeat a statement over and over again - which you’re saying inevitably because you don’t inherently believe it - that it’s going to change things. They don’t contribute any energy for action or choice.
An alternative is swapping out the “I am…” for a question stem such as, “What would it take to…?” that way you are asking a question which gets your brain and body engaged to get into action and new neural pathways and connections.
5. Staying/Being/Thinking Positively
No doubt that everyone is constantly being told to think, be, stay positive! How long have you ever been able to stay positive and how long did it take before you started to judge yourself for not staying positive?
The issue with this is that it perpetuates judgment of yourself and anytime you’re judging yourself you’re stoping your creative flow.
Positive and negative are two sides of judgment so the more you buy into one as more valuable and resisting the other, the more you perpetuate more of all of it! What if nothing was positive or negative? What if nothing was right or wrong? What if all of it was just information you were receiving so you could keep choosing that which was going to create greater?
Self-help strategies can be a contribution. But don’t just buy the lie that they all work. Ask, “If I choose to use this, what will that create in my life and business?” to get the energy and awareness.